Xenoverse origins / R-053
Moxie MenagerieOrigin story
Moxie Menagerie and the Fourth Opinion
A Monster Grooming Assistant creates a fourth head by promising incompatible styles to three heads that share one increasingly unhappy body.
Read the origin ↓
The left head wanted dignity. The middle head wanted height. The right head wanted whatever would annoy the other two.
Moxie’s eagerness to satisfy every customer gives one shared grooming appointment an extra head.
Moxie Menagerie wrote down three separate promises and called the appointment straightforward.
I can brush three heads. I can't agree with all of them.
From the dossier
Prologue — Yes, Certainly, Of Course
The creature arrived at the Freak Show grooming tent under its own steam, carrying its appointment card in the left mouth and a stolen cushion in the right. Moxie had set out three mirrors. She thought this demonstrated consideration.
As Monster Grooming Assistant, she worked among brushes, towels and bottles whose labels became less confident the longer one read them. Her employer expected her to manage difficult appointments without making the difficulty audible from the public path.
The Goblin Council knew Moxie as the assistant who said yes before its delegates finished their requests. Moxie knew their preference for describing new duties as compliments. She recognized the tactic and still fell for it, partly because refusal made her feel rude and partly because being indispensable sounded safer than being liked.
The three-headed creature had been booked for a procession. Each head believed it was the one the Council wished to present. The left requested a sober parting. The middle demanded a crest tall enough to be visible over banners. The right asked whether both could be made to look foolish without noticing.
Moxie laughed at the last request. The right head did not.
A Council steward entered, checked the appointment card and reminded her that the creature had one body, one booking and therefore one fee. He recognized her from a procession in which she had carried six spare umbrellas. She remembered being paid for carrying one.
This time she intended to earn a recommendation.
“I can accommodate everyone,” she told him.
The three mirrors brightened.
The creature's body lowered itself onto the cushion with a tired sigh. Moxie mistook this for agreement because agreement was the sound she had come prepared to hear. She drew a curtain around each head so they could discuss their preferences privately.
It was an efficient arrangement for making three incompatible promises without anyone interrupting.
Act 1
Separate Consultations
Act I — Separate Consultations
Behind the first curtain, Moxie combed the left head into a formal shape. It asked whether the middle would be less conspicuous. She said the overall result would be restrained.
Behind the second, she built the middle head's crest around a little ceremonial frame. It asked whether it would dominate the silhouette. She said the whole composition would lead the eye upward.
Behind the third, the right head requested a ribbon resembling a dignitary's moustache. Moxie found one. It asked whether the others would realize the joke. She said the effect would be subtle.
None of these sentences felt like a lie while she stood beside the head that wanted to hear it.
The mirrors reflected three different creatures. In the first, all heads had sober partings. In the second, every head supported the central crest. In the third, the left and middle wore humiliating little ribbons.
Moxie noticed the disagreement and turned the mirrors slightly away from one another.
Then a fourth voice said, “What about mine?”
A small new head had emerged between the middle and right. It wore the solemn expression of a customer who had waited too long to be acknowledged.
Moxie dropped her comb.
The left head demanded its curtain stay closed. The middle asked why the grooming had stopped. The right laughed until the new head copied its laugh more accurately than it liked.
The fourth head wanted all three promised results at once.
Its neck lengthened as Moxie tried to reassure it. The creature's body shifted under the added weight. One paw trembled against the tent floor. Moxie looked down properly for the first time that morning.
The body had been trying to sleep.
She had supplied privacy for every opinion and no rest for the creature carrying them.
Outside, the Council steward announced that the procession would begin shortly. Moxie answered, “Nearly ready,” and the fourth head grew another inch.
Act 2
One Neck Too Far
Act II — One Neck Too Far
She tried undoing the most recent ribbon. The right head objected. She promised to replace it, and the fourth head demanded a larger version.
She lowered the central crest. The middle head accused her of breaking their agreement. She offered an alternative. The fourth head acquired a crest of its own.
The new growth fed on the difference between what Moxie said to one customer and what she promised the next. She could see the pattern. Knowing it did not make disappointing them easier.
The steward pulled aside the tent flap. He counted the heads and asked whether the additional one required a supplementary fee. Moxie told him the appointment needed more time.
“Your recommendation depends on punctuality.”
The fourth head leaned toward him. “Certainly,” it said in Moxie's voice.
The imitation hurt. It sounded exactly as she did when agreeing to something she already knew she could not deliver.
Moxie opened all three curtains.
The original heads saw one another. Their outrage arrived simultaneously. The dignified left discovered the enormous crest. The middle discovered that the formal parting directed attention away from it. The right saw that its joke had become less private than intended.
Moxie let them finish.
Then she told each head what she had promised the others. She used plain words. She did not describe the contradictions as creative differences or the extra head as an unexpected opportunity.
The fourth head shrank slightly. It looked offended by the reduction in service.
The left demanded that she choose its style. The middle demanded the same. The right proposed cutting off the conversation by biting the mirrors. Moxie refused all three suggestions.
“I can brush three heads. I can't agree with all of them.”
Silence spread through the tent.
Below them, the body reached one enormous paw toward the cushion the right head had stolen. Moxie pushed it closer. The creature lowered its chest and breathed more easily.
She had been negotiating with the loudest parts of the appointment. The part bearing the consequences had finally been allowed a request.
Act 3
A Workable Disappointment
Act III — A Workable Disappointment
Moxie put away the decorative frame and the joke ribbons. She offered a simple grooming that would leave the creature comfortable enough to walk. Each head could choose one small detail that did not require the others to disappear.
The left kept its parting. The middle chose a narrow crest made from its own fur. The right retained a ribbon, but wore the absurd moustache itself. It found this less funny until the left head snorted, at which point it declared the idea excellent.
The fourth head tried to place an order. Moxie told it that she had created it by agreeing to work she could not do. She would not make another promise to keep it satisfied.
It looked at the mirrors, searching for a version of the creature that belonged entirely to it. None remained. Its neck shortened. Its expression softened into something almost sleepy.
At last it folded into the creature's mane, leaving a small knot behind the middle ear.
Moxie did not immediately attack the knot with a comb.
The Council steward returned with the procession marshal. The scheduled place had already been given to a carved wooden beast. It required no grooming and had the useful political quality of being unable to object.
Moxie's recommendation was withdrawn.
The creature, rested and unevenly decorated, showed no interest in the procession. It wanted the cushion carried to a quiet corner. Moxie helped it settle, then sat on an overturned bucket with her brushes in her lap.
The left head thanked her stiffly. The middle asked whether its crest still looked impressive. The right said it looked like a distressed vegetable. This time Moxie laughed without trying to repair the disagreement.
The steward presented her with an extended service agreement. He said that, since she had demonstrated unusual expertise, she could handle the creature's future appointments alone.
Moxie read the duties. She crossed out the procession preparation, added time for rest and placed the paper back in his hand.
He said he would need to consult the Council.
She said he could do that.
Then the creature rolled over, taking the treasured cushion with it. All three heads fell asleep facing different directions. Behind the middle ear, the little knot gave one indignant twitch.
Moxie watched it for a moment, set a fourth mirror face down and went to take the break she had stopped promising to postpone.
Three opinions and one exhausted creature
The grooming tent makes Moxie’s habit of overpromising visible. Separate consultations multiply demands while the creature’s shared body goes unnoticed, turning an ordinary service conflict into a fantasy about limits and workable compromise.